i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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