bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize