i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
