I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
