can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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