I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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