It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
