she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
