College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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