"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
