Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
