I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize