do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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