Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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