She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
