I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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