May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
