She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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