So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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