trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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