His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize