i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think my mom watched the whole time
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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