No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
