he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
