If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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