plz talk dirty to me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
