if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
