fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
