Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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