She is in my trunk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize