Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
