It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize