i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
