nut hugger
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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