I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
