Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
