I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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