So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
