i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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