At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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