i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
