I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
