ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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