margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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