the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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