but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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