as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
