its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
