I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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