I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
