Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
