Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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