If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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