I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
