I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
