who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize