I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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