I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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