I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
