im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
