We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize