Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
