all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
