ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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