she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The power of my boobs compel you
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
