If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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