sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
